Many of us know about unconditional love (dogs give us this easily).
How many of us have learned to have unconditional love for our selves? Or unconditional love in our relationships?
This takes some unlearning from years and layers of cultural conditioning.
Conditional love is far more common. “I love you if…”.
Break the cycle. Find your way to unconditional love.
Regarding self…Accepting all the parts of yourself. Holding your heart like an innocent newborn. Embracing your differences, honoring your normal-ness. Acknowledging your issues without shame. Celebrating the action that bring you joy.
Regarding others… Accepting someone as they are. Not as you think they can be or should be. This is hard. But also essential to have healthy relationships. If this someone isn’t the right fit for you, it is easier to know as you aren’t projecting who or what you “think” it should be or could be. You see the reality not the expectation. It does gets muddy sometimes and hard to see clearly. Navigating who will honor your unconditional love is challenging. Being vulnerable. Being authentic. Being truthful. Truthful with yourself and your relationship.
Some people experience unconditional love in friendships and intimate relationships. It is beautiful to see. Some learn how to love our family members unconditionally. With this also comes the place where you find your healthy boundaries. Where you can easily recognize when something isn’t right for you. Some people have found their way to unconditional love of self. This is NOT a place where ego can live. This is a place of humbleness. No projecting. No pretense. No faking it.
A great place to start us with yourself. Stop putting unloving constraints on your self-acceptance. Give yourself space to figure out how to do that. Write down the things you don’t love about yourself. Ask yourself why. Dive into the deep end and find your way to unconditional love.
And here’s to Amos, who loved exactly this way. And I loved him exactly as he was. Lucky I have also found my way to learning unconditional love. It is a process, it takes a lot of work. Breaking the habit of conditional love is a dance. The more we practice the better we get. It is a journey. A very worthwhile journey.
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